What to do if you are Abused
You are not alone and you are not to blame. You cannot control his violence.
There are ways you can keep yourself safe:
- Call the police if you have been assaulted (#'s in front pages of phone book). Charging abusive males is a necessary step in reducing physical violence;
- Call a friend or family member you trust. Tell someone and keep a record of all incidents for evidence;
- Write down the details for yourself as soon as possible after the assault. Keep it in a safe place where he won't find it;
- Develop a safety plan. Memorize emergency numbers (#'s in front pages of phone book). Keep spare house and car keys handy. Know where you can stay in an emergency;
- See a counsellor. Find a counsellor who values your right to freedom from abuse and will work with you, believe you and support your choices and decisions;
- Consider ending the relationship as soon as possible. Without intervention, his violence will increase in frequency and severity as time passes;
- Recognize that no one has the right to control you and that it is everyone's human right to live without fear;
- Decide what is best for you. Set your own limits, stick to them and feel good about taking charge of your life.
The first step is often the hardest. If nothing is done, the abuse will not stop. Help is available.
Victims of partner violence can go to their local police station or provincial court to apply for an Emergency Protection Order.
Look out for men who:
- Do not listen to you, ignore you or talk over you;
- Sit or stand too close to you, make you uncomfortable and seem to enjoy it;
- Do only what they want or push you to get what they want;
- Express anger and violence towards women either through words or physically;
- Have a bad attitude toward women;
- Are overly possessive or jealous;
- Drink or use drugs heavily;
- Have a reputation for "scoring".
If any of this sounds familiar, chances are you are being abused. Get Help.